Is abstinence attainable?

CHOOSE YOUR WIFE O' KING. . .These ladies are captured on camera during the Reed Dance Festival in Swaziland.

It is the news on television. It resonates on advertisements, both print and electronic media. The big “A” to life. Abstinence. It is the preacher man’s pillow in church. And grandmothers say, “I married your grandfather when I was still a virgin. You children of today think you are very clever…”
And so the accusations go on.

But as the youth, can we mange it? Can we really abstain, or we fall far too short of such a marker of chastity? Should one be crucified for failing it? But a friend told me that it is something that is not easily manged. She gave me an account of a church-going lady who strictly told her fiancée after marriage, but she would sleep with another man.

Maybe it’s that fallacy of wanting to spruce up appearance, that of appearance versus reality. But this descends into a cataclysm, sheer disaster. Because the male part may visit brothels such that the female partner won’t know that the other party is no immortal, or infallible, that is, indulging in sex. And then a bigger “A”, that is, AIDS, comes onto the scene. It’s a vicious circle.

So what is the way forward? Is it abstinence? Or is it stick to one partner?
No matter the outcome, please let us save lives, your own and your partner’s.

Sex -A Saleable Commodity?

Exacerbated economic hardships in Zimbabwe have brought no good to the Zimbabwean youths of today. Most of them being brought up in poverty-stricken families, have found themselves subjects of sexual abuse either by old men or by old women.

Most youths instead of working hard to sustain themselves have ventured into the business of selling their bodies for a living. Sex has now been commodified. It now has a monetary value. Sex is no longer for free but at least a token of appreciation should be paid if not, then the price for sex should match the escalating price of basic commodities. This applies to both girls and boys who incline themselves to "sugar Daddies and sugar mumies" respectively for a living.

Girls mostly, are interested in flashy things they cannnot afford themselves. Competition for visibility or keeping up appearances have forced most girls to package themselves as saleable commodities. The most affected being girls at tertiary institutions where such questions as what do I eat? What do I put on today? become matters of concern. Sugar daddies are well versed in what most girls want and they splurge money and expensive gifts, which has easily lured girls into their trap. The comfort of cars, food, jewellery and clothing among others are nothing to these men as long as the girl is prepared to have sexual intercourse with them. The same applies to boys who are pushed into sleeping with old women.

What worries most is that these youths do have partners of their age whom they take serioulsy and they have sex with them. When and how then can HIV and AIDS pandemic be controlled? Mostly when these youths indulge in sexual activities with older partners they will be under the influence of drugs and alcohol though a few will be sobber, the probability of continual use of protection is limited. The result is likely that both parties would be exposed to contracting HIV and AIDS among other sexuallly transmitted Infections.

Hey, what do you think should be done to curb such kind of behaviours among youths?

This is Real- The Price of sex

MILES APART . . . Does sex spice up love or it opens a gulf?

My friend’s past few relationships had left her on edge. Some were ugly, while others were just dormant and disappointing. What started out as exciting and full of promise ended, in one way or another, with her deleting someone from her phone or deleting him from her mailing lists. What’s the reason? She doesn’t know may be she is the one who has got a problem. How we view sex, its importance in a relationship is of paramount importance. Sex before marriage is regarded as fornication in the bible, juxtaposed to this is the idea that sex is the spicy of love. What then shall we do?
A friend told me that she had a multi-year relationship with a former best friend that went from disappointing to dramatic, to absolute absurd in a matter of months. Now she blames herself, her partners, her family and society for her love's demise. She has gone through enough and she thinks she cannot let herself in the already ‘dug pit’ by indulging in sexual activities of which, her new partners are crazy for it. What’s the way forward?